According to the CDC, most condom failures come down to incorrect or inconsistent use and not the actual condom. The steps aren't hard, but the details matter. Here's everything you need to know, for every kind of sex and every kind of body.
Step 1: Check, Unwrap & Orient
Ensure that both parties have expressed enthusiastic consent. CHECK the expiry date on the condom wrapper. If it’s not expired, UNWRAP the condom from its wrapper. Unwrap carefully with your fingers (ie. not your teeth or scissors). ORIENT the condom right side up; the rim should be on the outside. It will look like a little hat and it should roll easily—but don’t roll it all the way yet! Use one condom per phallus at a time.
DON’T layer condoms. Two condoms create friction against each other and are more likely to fail than one used correctly.
Step 2: Pinch & Place
Pinch the tip of the condom and place it on the head of the erect phallus, that could be your (or your partner’s) penis/cock/dick, clit or dildo. Leaving space at the tip matters — that's the reservoir where semen/cum/ejaculate will go. If you skip this step, pressure can build up and cause the condom to burst.
Jems condoms are lubricated with 100% silicone lube, but if you want to add a few drops of water-based or silicone lube inside the condom at this point, go ahead — it can increase sensation for the condom-wearer. Just don't go overboard; too much internal lube can cause the condom to slip. NEVER use oil-based lubes (Vaseline, lotion, coconut oil) as they can break down a latex condom.
Step 3: Roll & Wet
Keep holding the tip of the condom – leaving space at the top of the condom – as you roll it down the shaft of the penis/cock/dick, clit or dildo (the space at the top collects semen/cum/ejaculate). Once the condom is on, you can add more lube to the outside to make it extra WET & GUSHY. More lube = less friction = lower risk of breakage and more comfort for everyone. Pure silicone lube is the best bet here — it's long-lasting, hypoallergenic, and compatible with latex condoms.
Step 4: Have Sex
Condoms can be used during oral, anal or vaginal sex. Use a new condom if you switch from one kind of sex to another, especially anal to vaginal sex (unwanted bacteria can transfer, causing infections), or if your condom breaks. Never reuse condoms. If the condom-wearer loses their erection (it happens!), simply use a new condom when you start again.
Step 5: Cum
Once/if the condom-wearer has ejaculated (or when you'e done with that round), hold the rim of the condom at the base of the shaft so the condom stays on as the condom-wearer pulls their penis/cock/dick, clit or dildo out of their partner’s body.
Carefully remove the condom without spilling what’s inside it. To dispose of the condom, put it in the trash. Don’t flush it down the toilet. Condoms clog pipes.
Step 6: Keep Going
At this point, you may or may not be done having sex. If you want to keep going, put a new condom on after every ejaculation into a condom. In the case of threesomes and group sex, use a new condom whenever the condom-wearer switches partners. When in doubt, watch YouTube ;). Also Planned Parenthood has this video.
This article is part of our complete Condoms Guide. For context on types and materials, go there.
Why Jems
Jems is a female-founded sexual wellness brand redefining the category with body-safe, design-forward essentials made with transparent ingredients. We create better-for-you condoms, lubricant, and wipes that support safer sex as part of everyday wellness.
FAQ - Lingering Questions
What do I do if the condom breaks?
Firs! Don't panic! Then act. If pregnancy is a concern, emergency contraception (EC) is most effective within 72 hours but can be used up to 120 hours after unprotected sex. If STI exposure is a concern, talk to a healthcare provider about testing and, if relevant, post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) for HIV. Most sexual health clinics and pharmacies can help.
Can I use a condom on a sex toy?
Yes, and it's a good habit. Especially for toys used with multiple partners, or switched between vaginal and anal use in the same session. Put a condom on the toy, change it between uses, and make sure your lube is compatible with both the condom material and the toy material.
What if I lose my erection mid-sex?
Super normal, and not a big deal. Take a breath, put on a fresh condom when you're ready to start again, and carry on. There's no shame in it — it happens to most people who have penises at some point.
How do I know what size to get?
Most standard condoms fit a wide range of sizes, but fit does matter. A condom that's too tight is uncomfortable and more likely to break; one that's too loose may slip.
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